Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Building your Avatar

Build your Avatar

Hi there!

Today we're going to talk about building your "Avatar". For our purposes, your "Avatar" is basically your appearance - how you physically and visually present yourself; your hair, face, clothes, jewelry, etc. - and all the things that people associate with YOU.

What this is REALLY about is CONGRUENCE.

To make that make more sense: does your outside appearance agree with the person you are on the inside? This is another crucial step in transformation. If you're going to be who you want to be you need to look the part. Likewise, you want to always be communicating your personality to people. What does what you're wearing RIGHT NOW say about who you are as a person?

Right now, i'm wearing some extremely soft cotton basketball shorts and some underarmor boxers. What this communicates is that a) i workout and b) i'm completely comfortable with my body.

But it's more than simply communicating your comfort level (ie sweats vs jeans), it's moreso communicating how you feel about yourself. Some people wear suits ALL the time, some girls wear skirts. Skirt-girls are proud of their legs for instance, and often like to feel sexy. Suit-guys prefer to feel more polished and professional, or just dressed up. Generally i wear jeans, like ALL the time. I also wear funny/unique t-shirts that say things like "I have the pussy so I make the rules", and random unique sneakers.

It's not necessarily about what i'm TRYING to convey, it's more about wearing the things that are consistent with myself. I LOVE to have fun, hence the hilarious t-shirts. I like to try new things and take risks, hence the unique sneakers/shirts. I just like a nice pair of jeans and cool belts. I like my watch cuz i like to know what time it is and i like shiny things. I like having my ears pierced because i think it's cool. In general, i like to have a shitload of subtle details going on at once with my appearance. That way it looks cool at first, but the more you look at it the more you see. Almost like a cool painting or piece of art.

I have two rules that i live by when i'm deciding what to wear:
Rule #1) Wear what you feel confident in
Rule #2) Dress like you're going to be taking home the hottest girl in the venue (and she'll probably be wearing a dress)

The more accessories you have, the better. USUALLY. Jewelry is a great way to convey things about your personality. It lets you wear like 10 things that say something about you instead of just 4. Layering your clothes is another good way to do this. Just buy stuff you like... rings, necklaces, earrings, cockrings... woops!

But for those of us starting out, it's important not to look "TRY-HARD".

Note: buying stuff that is TOO BLATENT, like HUGE EARRINGS can often come off as try-hard (for guys). If the only thing that's cool about your big earrings is the fact that they're big, it's probably try-hard. But if you're wearing them as a JOKE, then it says something about your personality - you don't take yourself too seriously.

So, i would advise learning the way i learned: look at cool guys, alpha males, guys that girls are into, etc. find the parts of their outfit or 'look' that you LIKE, and make it your own. You like some dude's shirt ask him where he got it. "Cool shirt, where'd u get it?" and go shop there. But don't just copy people for the sake of copying them - copy the things you LIKE.

Figure out what jeans people are wearing. Shoes, etc. Look at TV, magazines, whatever. These things are IMPORTANT to women (and to men). In fact, i advise getting some female friends and going shopping with them - or recruit the hot retail girls to tell you whether or not your ass looks good in those Levi's. Details, details.

Details are utterly important, because the moment you have one thing incongruent with the personality you're conveying via your words/nonverbals, it creates confusion for whoever you're interacting with.

I see guys who have ALL the 'player tools'. They dress like stars, they're in good shape, they have nice haircuts, they're reasonably naturally attractive dudes, they have nice cars, nice houses, etc. Yet their game is utterly LACKING.

Instead of being congruent with all these player tools they have, they're afraid to pull the trigger, afraid to be an alpha male, afraid to actually BE the guy that women want. They're satisfied with just LOOKING the part. What all that is REALLY saying about that person (and trust me, girls figure this out pretty quickly), is that the guy feels INADEQUATE without all of those things. He has a low sense of self-worth without all his material possessions. He derives his value from OUTSIDE himself. In other words, he's externally validated.

That's friggin WACK.

Meanwhile, we've all seen that cleancut UNATTRACTIVE guy who has the car, the clothes, *AND* the girl! What the hellllll? Clearly his game is congruent with his look. His avatar is congruent with his personality. It's NOT simply because he's spending all his $$ on her (unless she's a groupie, which DOES happen), it's because he has the confidence and means to have the player tools AND be the player.

Being broke is no excuse. Get a cool haircut, groom yourself. Keep your shit tight. I learned to use my hair-clippers so i cut my own hair. I line myself up almost every day. For me, haircuts are FREE. I pay no more than $10 for any t-shirt i own. $25-30 for button ups, $15-20 for polos, $30 for jeans, $20-50 for shoes, $50-$60 for a blazer. These are at DEPARTMENT stores, i OWN the clearance rack.

Checkout the thrift stores. I pay $3 for my ties at thrift stores. $6 for button ups, etc. It's ridiculous.

Try shit on. Half the time i don't even REALLY go shopping with people, i'll end up somewhere by myself because i insist on trying on my clothes, and this takes forever. However, i basically never have to return anything, all my clothes fit GREAT, and i like how they look. Every purchase is an investment.

Dress to match your body type. If you have no muscle definition you probably don't want to wear a lot of tight t-shirts - i'd go Polo or Button up. You can be skinny, but there's no excuse to not have some muscle definition. If you're a bigger person, don't be afraid to GET skinny - almost all of the 'sexiest men alive' are quite thin. Like ALL male R&B singers are skinny as shit. CUT, but skinny.

Justin Timberlake is NOT big/buff. Ray J is a SAVAGE, and he is NOT a big guy.

And remember - EVERYONE looks good in a blazer.

But meanwhile, there's no excuse not to get in shape. GET IN THE GYM. Commit to working out 3 days a week. Just DO IT. Ask yourself, what would an alpha-male do? He'd fucking work out. Working out should be congruent with your personality - you should be a guy with rules and standards. If you have standards you wouldn't let your health get out of hand. Working out also gets your sex drive and testosterone pumping. Girls can SMELL this shit.

Changes won't happen overnight, but remember, it's consistency of ACTION that's our goal. This is a LIFESTYLE.

Now listen, after saying all that it's important that you understand that none of that actually MATTERS.

This game is amazing because when you're conveying your personality, nothing else matters but what's inside YOU. You can be fat, ugly, gross, living with your mom with superman bedsheets on a bunkbed (actually that sounds kinda cool...) in a DIRTY house with no furniture. Whatever, none of that matters. I know of guys who have pulled girls back to such shoddy living arrangements and made it happen. I know UNATTRACTIVE FAT guys who have porn-style 3somes on a regular basis.

HOWEVER, they are working VERY HARD to do this stuff, or at least a lot harder than they have to. You don't have to work that hard.

Having your Avatar in order definitely helps. When you have all those other things working against you then there's that much more personality you have to convey - that much more game you have to spit. When your Avatar is congruent with your personality, your Avatar does the talking for you.

I can tell when i'm dressed right (congruent) because i can roll up to ANY girl and she'll immediately open right up.

And i don't want to hear "i don't give a fuck" as an excuse. You really don't give a fuck about yourself? Well, who the hell wants to date a person like that!

What would an alpha-male do? He'd take care of himself.


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Ego Theory

One of the first steps to starting the process of transforming yourself is taking stock of your self: Where am i now, where do i want to be?

What would you rate your self-esteem at on a scale of 1 to 10? A "zero" would basically be suicidal.

Self-esteem can fluctuate. Right now i'd put mine at 8 or 9, because i'm thinking about all the projects i want to work on and having a hard time making progress, and self-esteem seems to be tied to feelings of success and accomplishment of goals. There are basically three different types of people in the world:

1) Low Self-Esteem (LSE)

2) 'Average' People

3) High Self-Esteem (HSE)

Remember those two questions from the beginning? Well, "Where am i now?" tells us your Actual Self. "Where do i want to be?" tells us your Ideal Self. The difference between your Actual Self and your Ideal Self is your self-esteem. i.e. if you feel like you're a piece of shit (Actual) and you want to be a piece of platinum (Ideal), you'd clearly be LSE.

Here's a nice picture to illustrate this: The person on the top is LSE, middle person = 'Average', bottom person = HSE. The scale from 0 to 10 is their self-esteem, "5" on the scale is average - right in the middle.

What's funny is that the 'Average' person you'll meet in this world actually thinks they're a little below average. In other words, the self-esteem of the average person is actually, BARELY, a little low - people tend to be think pretty poorly of themselves.

Now, there is something that gets in EVERYONE'S way and stops them from reaching their full potential. It's a three-letter word that represents everything BAD in social dynamics:


I've realized that people will essentially do EVERYTHING in their power to protect their ego. In fact, they've even done psychological research which shows that people engage in "ego protection." Yes, my dear friend, you do it too. Virtually every time you get defensive, guess what you're defending? Your ego.

But why does the ego even exist? What is its purpose? What *IS* an ego anyway? I'll tell you.

The ego is basically the FRONT we put up, it's what we want others to see when they look at us. The ego is our public face. So it's your ego that makes you brag about stuff, that makes you get into arguments because you don't want to lose or be wrong, that makes you ignore people's criticism because if you listen to what they say it means there's something wrong with you.

Essentially, your ego is there to protect your fragile feelings and your self-esteem. It looks like this:

See that? To the outside world, many times the typical LSE person will seem normal because they put up the FRONT that they're normal. Likewise, the 'Average' person you meet in this world always seems to have SOMEthing good going for them... hence their ego is above average. The HSE person can often come off as cocky if their ego gets out of hand, because they can actually back up most of the smack they talk.

Now, we've all heard people say things like "you're afraid of success" and it doesn't make any sense. I mean who the hell is afraid of success?! I love success! If anything i'm afraid of failure.

Well, they got it half-right. Ever competed against someone and then you beat them and they say "you only won because i wasn't really trying" ? We all have. In fact, many of us are guilty of saying that same thing - we only lost 'cuz we weren't trying. That right there my friends is our EGO rearing its ugly head.

We're afraid because if we really try, and STILL lose, then our ego is CRUSHED.

And our ego really, really doesn't want to die. So what are we to do? Our egos are holding us back, keeping us from really trying... There's only one option


It's a 2-step process:

1) Make your primary goals ACTION oriented, not OUTCOME oriented.

Egos are concerned with failure, but if your goals are to take action rather than to achieve outcomes, it's a lot harder to fail. So my goals are to TRY HARD (action), rather than to gain something (outcome). Don't try to lose 20 pounds, instead try to go to the gym and work hard 3-4 days a week.

2) Make your secondary goals LEARNING oriented rather than COMPETITION oriented.

Egos are concerned with comparing themselves to others, and COMPETING to feel better than others. That's why you want to win arguments, brag, etc. Rather than trying to win (compete), instead I focus on learning the most I can (learn), especially from other people. Don't try to get in better shape than your super-fit friend. Instead, ask them how they got in such excellent condition. How much better do i get at things when i learn what my would-be 'competitors' would do to win?


I used to be a LSE person. Then i managed to take action and transform myself into an 'average' person. Now, thru consistency of action and learning, i can proudly say i'm HSE.

Destroy your ego, take action, and watch your world turn on its head. One day you'll look up from all the actions you've been taking and realize you've come farther than you ever thought possible.


Monday, December 10, 2007

Danger's Guide to Men: it's finally here!

Hey! Good to see you, it's been a little bit. Much too long for my preferences, but hey, life's a party and i don't wanna miss it!

People have said such things as "I liked the blog, but i'm not sure i like how you put women into categories" To which i said, "i do it to men too."


:) So here it is! Enjoy.

I was thinking about how to go about figuring out the categories that guys fall into. And then it hit me - and it's so simple: wouldn't it just be the same as the girls? And as i kind of 'reversed' the girl categories to make sense for guys, indeed it made perfect sense. I thought about different kinds of guys i've encountered and people i know, and yes, they fall into these categories, here they are:

1) Celebrities
2) "Stunners"
3) Shy Guys
4) Choosey Lovers
5) Nerds
6) Comedians

These are very similar to the girl categories of:

1) Hired Guns
2) Groupies
3) Blossomers
4) Choosey Lovers
5) Nerds
6) Giggle boxes


Much like the Hired Guns, Celebrities are tired of being "hit on". Celebrities are guys who have some degree of fame/fortune and are tired of groupies and gold diggers trying to get at them. They may live a lavish life, but that is simply the life they prefer rather than living that life for the purpose of showing off, like the Stunner.

If you're a Celebrity and you want to meet women who aren't groupies, be mysterious about what you do and your income level. Put yourself in situations where people might not know who you are. Tell your friends to stop bragging about what you do. Let your SELF shine thru, see how that goes. You might just discover some interesting things about your self-esteem and confidence you never knew.

For ladies who want to meet celebrities: don't be impressed by what they do. Treat them as human beings, get to know them. Have fun and relax.


The Stunners are the show offs. Many Stunners don't even necessarily have much to show off, but whatever it is they have, you'll know. They like to brag and try to impress people one way or another. These are the types of guys that Groupies often go for, because groupies LOOOVE that status. Both Stunners and Groupies are externally validated, status-oriented people.

If you're a girl and you want a Stunner all you really have to do is dress sexy, stand within 10 feet of them and pray they have the guts to say something to you. If they don't, smile at them and make eye contact, that should do the trick.

If you're a Stunner and you want girls, my advice would be to go to parties you know will have lots of groupies: album release parties, celebrity afterparties, etc. If you want even better advice stop being a Stunner and realize you're a cool cat without all the bling. The guys who get ALL the girls don't show off, they're just assertively being THEMSELVES.

Shy Guys:

Shy guys are totally the male version of the female Blossomers. They'd love to explore their sexuality but they're reluctant to be assertive in many situations. Hell, many times they just simply don't know HOW or where to start! Most 'nice guys' are shy guys. Give them a chance and they know how to 'treat a lady'. Of course, contrary to what ladies SAY the guys they actually go for are NOT the ones who approach girls the way momma taught 'em.

Thus, many shy guys end up choosing from the girls who come their way OR girls in their immediate social circle. So if you're a girl and you're interested in a Shy Guy you're gonna have to show interest in him. And i know you think you ARE, but you must understand that the Shy Guy has NO CLUE unless you're blatently obvious about it. Don't be too FORWARD cuz he'll panic, but be INTERESTED.

If you're a Shy Guy and you want your pick of the litter, you're gonna have to stop caring about rejection, get out there and GO TALK TO GIRLS. You have so much potential you don't even know it, and YOU are the only thing stopping you.

Choosey Lovers:

Ah yes, choosey lovers. In order for a guy to be a choosey lover he has to actually be to the point where he has multiple QUALITY women to choose from as lovers. Please note the word "QUALITY" in front of the word "women". A guy being a Choosey Lover doesn't mean he's a player, it just means he's well-rounded. Anyway, there are 2 ways to get there.

1) The guy can be a Natural, which means that for a combination of reasons (or at least in certain situations i.e. girls in their social circle but NOT strangers at nightclubs) talking to quality women is well within his comfort zone.

2) They can LEARN it, meaning they used to be a different category but now they've reached a new comfort level with women.

If a woman wants to get with a choosey lover, she'll have to be of high quality. Let me go ahead and outline what high quality means: CONFIDENT.

There's nothing sexier than confidence, to men AND to women. I'm not gonna deny that you also need to take care of yourself and dress well, but these are things that truly confident people do anyway. The difference between having confidence and having a big ego is that confidence takes the COURAGE to say "i'm not perfect, but i'm working on it." Big-ego says "fuck that, i'm damn near perfect!"

Being confident doesn't mean being aggressive and tactless. Being confident doesn't mean being a standoffish bitch. Being confident doesn't mean constantly measuring yourself against the people around you. In fact, psychological research has shown that people with higher self-confidence engage in less social-comparison (measuring themselves).

Being high quality means relaxing and being social. Having fun. Not being desperate, needy, or taking value, but instead being assertive and GIVING value. So go around demonstrating personality, being social and having fun - you'll pique the interest of the Choosey Lover.

If you're a guy and you're a Choosey Lover and you want to get girls, it's important to remember that EVERYONE has value, even if they come off as a bitch at first. Dig thru their bullshit and give them a chance to let their true self shine thru. Being Choosey doesn't mean being so uppity, cocky, or arrogant that you're too 'picky' to talk to people. Instead, talk to EVERYONE. Every girl doesn't need to be a 10 in looks. However, don't lower your standards for anyone. I also see a lot of guys who are reasonably successful Choosey Lovers (Naturals in this case), but their ego's get in the way of them being EVEN BETTER at interacting with women.

Of COURSE you're successful with women. But did it ever occur to you that maybe you could be even MORE successful? Maybe that girl who just played you would've been friendlier if you had done something different? You often get in your own way when you're meeting women. The best advice i can give is to destroy your limiting beliefs, get out of your comfort zone and LEARN what's going on in these interactions.


Nerd guys are just like nerd girls. Nerd guys have a lot of similarities to shy guys - they're generally a shy bunch. However, the thing with nerd guys is there's almost always SOMETHING about which they get very excited. Hell, they're probably actually really GOOD at it too. Granted, this mysterious 'something' might be World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons, but still! Many of them are smart guys, they're just a little clueless when it comes to chicks. What's cool about this is that they learn well, so if a Nerd ever has a freaky girlfriend, he's going to be fucking AMAZING in bed. Ladies, tell a nerd what you want and he'll fulfill your desires, be they emotional, mental or physical. All of this makes them great boyfriends.

What's funny is that many JOCKS and MUSICIANS are actually NERDS. When this is the case, all they know is the sport/music they're playing and they're clueless about chicks. Luckily it's cool to bang jocks and musicians so they matchup quite well with Groupies;) In fact, it's a match made in heaven!

Let me reiterate that i'm NOT knocking the Groupie/Nerd matchup. Basically the Groupie thinks it's fucking awesome that the Nerd does whatever it is they're good at, and the Nerd gets to express his personality without worrying about the initial attraction phase. It works out for both parties.

So for ladies that want to get with Nerds, find out what they do. If it's interesting to you, let them know you're interested in the same thing. Give them a chance to talk about whatever it is they love to do and you'll see just how awesome these guys are. You have to be assertive with these types in case you didn't pick up on that...

For the Nerd guys, if you want to get the ladies, find EVERY opportunity you can to relate whatever you're THING is to something about her. At the same time, diversify yourself. You don't want to be one of those guys where the girl says, "all he ever talks about is X." Granted there are those girls that LOOOVE "X". However, if you want to expand your horizons you'll have to learn about other things. Make sure you're not just talking about you and your thing, but RELATING it to HER. It lets her know you understand where she's coming from. By the way you'll also want to learn how to approach women... ;)


Ah yes, we all know some Comedians; Comedians are the guys who tell the jokes! They're usually funny as fuck, and often very fun to be around. It DOES happen that their personalities can be overbearing: sometimes they don't know when to stop or tone it down. You can spot a Comedian because he jokes at almost EVERYTHING. The thing about Comedians is that they basically NEVER pull the trigger. It's very easy for them to end up just being the fun-entertainer guy who all the girls know but none of them are having sex with.

For ladies that want to get with a Comedian, YOU are going to have to be the assertive one who escalates the situation. Comedy is good for attraction, so a Comedian will very often get STUCK in attraction and not escalate to connection or seduction. Actions speak louder than words with these guys. And have a sense of humor. Many times they don't run into people who can make THEM laugh.

For Comedians who want to get the girlz, PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER. You need to TOUCH these girls, especially if they've already touched you! You should have no problem approaching girls - just say something random/funny that pops into your head, and keep it going. You being the comedian you are, they'll probably be laughing within a few minutes. If not she's being a dickhead so turn your back and go approach another girl.

You'll also want to ESCALATE. Get more personal, be more sexual. Ask them a question about themselves, relate it to yourself AND to something funny and/or sexual. Then, tell her something cool you noticed about her and tell her "lets chat sometime, i can see us having some laughs. What's your phone#?" and pull the trigger.

So there you have it. I might come back in and edit this so it looks prettier. Until then, keep it trill homies.


Monday, November 19, 2007

Being Assertive: 4th element revised

Hey there! Good to see you again. I've got something mind-bottling for you today...

Here's a good metaphor: Would you get on a train if you didn't know where it was going?

Some say yes, some say no. Depends on how adventurous you're feeling at the time. But what if you knew it was going somewhere fun and exciting? You'd probably go.

Same thing applies in this game of life. When you're interacting with someone, it's important to be assertive about your intentions. When i learned about the 4th element (relationship expectations) i realized that women want to know where the interaction is heading. I learned that you could tell the truth, women would get over it, and you'd have a happy relationship.

When i told people about it, including some guys i know who are quite loved by women, their reaction was negative: they totally didn't believe that you could tell the truth and still have the relationship you want.

Well, i got it right, mostly.

You can indeed tell the truth, but it doesn't have to be so serious or awkward. In fact, as a good friend says, "it's only as awkward as you make it." OR you CAN 'lie'.

But it's not the kind of lie that is meant to deceive, rather it's the kind of lie that is meant to communicate that the truth simply doesn't matter. "We're gonna get married and have great-grandkids." "We're gonna do the nasty then you can adopt multicultural kids and i'll raise them like Brad and Angelina." What this says is, 'Don't worry about it, we're having fun right now and that's what matters. Now where were we?'

OR you can tell her the bald truth: "i'll take you home and see how many times i can make your legs shake."

Either way, have some fun with it. But don't ever be afraid to communicate your interest. As long as you're coming from the right place, you have nothing to worry about. True, you recognize their value, but you are also a person of value and you're willing to walk away at the drop of a hat at any moment because you don't actually NEED them to feel valuable.

So sure, i walk up to a girl and communicate a shitload of interest. Then i'll turn my back and walk away and do it again to another girl. I'm fickle like that. Everyone has value, and it doesn't take me long to see someone's uniqueness. But just because i'm sexual doesn't mean i have sex; i'm selective.

Try it, it's awesome.


Friday, November 16, 2007

Being Selective and Discrete

Hi guys! Today i wanted to briefly discuss two important qualifiers: being Selective and Discrete, because i've really internalized these two traits lately.

I mean, i've always BEEN selective and discrete, but i never really understood what that meant and how to communicate it, until recently.

Sometimes it's easier to figure things out by looking at it backwards: what if i WASN'T selective and discrete? What does that say about me?

If i weren't selective it says that i'll take anything that comes my way. I'm desperate and needy.

If i weren't discrete that means i'm telling everyone all of my business. That means i'm in dire need of attention to make me feel valuable.

Both of those things imply that deep down inside i feel like i'm worthless.

Well, when you look at it like that, DUH. Of course the opposite sex isn't interested in someone who's not selective or discrete (assuming they are also selective and discrete).

So once your internal compass is aligned and you're coming from the right place, make sure you're communicating these two qualities about yourself. And plz don't try to fake it - the opposite sex is WAAAY too savvy. It's all in the nonverbals.

cheers mates,

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Process: Learning and Breaking All the Rules

The Process...

Hello dearest of friends. I've been thinking lately about how to get from point A to point B in this game. There's some sort of process involved, or so it seems. Can it be denied? Can it be skipped? Is there a shortcut?

Possibly. Probably. But it's HARDER, it takes more dedication and perserverence and straight up FAITH that it will work. Courage and confidence that it will work. Determination.

What's the end goal?

The end goal is an understanding of the social matrix and the ability to break free of it and do whatever we want with it, if we so desire.

Some people learn some of the rules and become manipulators. This is the dark side.

Others are well-rounded, grounded, spiritually centered people who are GOOD people and tired of being trapped in the matrix. They become leaders of men, protectors of loved ones, etc etc. This is the good side. This is the way of the jedi.

There are 3 things to learn to complete your game, and this goes for both guys and girls:

How to have value (attract)
How to understand others value (comfort)
How to give value (seduce)

If you're not attractive people basically won't even talk to you and you'll never learn how to build rapport and get to know people in comfort. Likewise with seduction: if you have no value and you're trying to 'give' value it comes off as the OPPOSITE and you seem needy/reaction-seeking like a super-nerd giving a pretty girl a compliment. Therefore, it seems you HAVE to go through the process of learning attraction then comfort then seduction.

It's good to start off with at least some cursory knowledge of all 3 things so that, while you work on one, if you find yourself in a more advanced stage, you know SOMETHING about it. This was how i learned. And it was definitely a process.

But now that i've learned all of these basic areas of the social matrix i'm finding that there are other crucial rules that i was never taught and exactly how to bend and break them. The more i learn, the more i build this overall picture that all it comes down to is one thing:

Be a fucking MAN.

Stop being a pussydick and man the F up. Ask yourself, what would a MAN do in this situation?

Internalize all of the goodness of game.

Be attractive
Be confident
Be assertive
Be touchy
Be sexual
Be funny (to YOURSELF)
Be unreactive (hold your frame)
Be smiling
Be nonchalant
Be bold
Be daring
Be courageous


Meanwhile, here are a few of those crucial social rules i've learned the past few months, and here's how to break them.:

The Social Rules:

Keep the keepers
Keep your hands to yourself
Intimacy needs privacy
Being a player is bad
Don't tell her you want her

#1) We Date People We Like

If you don't want a relationship don't do any 'relationship' stuff throughout those 3 stages. do NOT paint a picture that says, 'i'm a nice person who just wants to find that sweet someone and settle down for a while'. Don't tell them anything that they'd LOVE to tell their mom, follow me? "He's a chiropractor" "He's in college" "He's my age" "He wants to be a veterenarian"

CUT THAT SHIT OUT! If they start to 'like' you too much then they're gonna wanna date you. If that's what you want, by all means go for it. Just understand the rule and know what you're doing. Next!

#2) Escalate or Die

So you've created attraction. Good for you. But guess what? It's literally going NOWHERE unless you escalate. Always be escalating. All of that talking is useless bullshit until the two of you are touching.

And don't hesitate to escalate further, don't be satisfied with your hand on her knee. KEEP GOING. Sure she might say 'omg what are you doing?! lol!' or playfully hit you and stuff, doesn't mean she wants you to stop. If you haven't been slapped, you're not out of line.

Oh, and ladies, if we're really out of line, please slap us.

#3) It Doesn't Matter Who's Around

Anytiiimmmme.... or any plaaace iiiii don't care who's arooouunnnd!

Take a lesson from Janet Jackson: stop caring who's around. If you don't care, the person you're with won't care. Be adventurous! Be spontaneous! And use protection. I carry condoms in my pocket at all times. Why? Am i planning on having sex? No. But i'm planning on being spontaneous.

This is such an important lesson to learn and it goes hand in hand with #2 because you can't let ANYTHING stop you from escalating. There is no such thing as bad logistics: there are bathrooms, alleyways, closets, cars, and dark corners. The best sex isn't always in the bedroom.

#4) Be a Player

Yes, i know. Contrary to popular belief, being a player is NOT a bad thing. BUT, being a player doesn't mean you have endless women, it means you CAN have endless women but you choose to only have 'several' women. I can't stress this enough, but BE SELECTIVE.

There will come a point where the opposite sex will see your seductive prowess and feel a little fear: do they do this with ALL the girls?

To this my response is, "just because i'm sexual doesn't mean i have sex."

It's of the utmost importance to communicate to the opposite sex that you're SELECTIVE and DISCRETE.

#5) Communicate Sexual Interest

"You want to have sex with me don't you?" What would you say in this situation? This is the ULTIMATE sexual test for pussydicks. This is like her saying, 'are you gonna man the fuck up or what?'

So, there's only one proper way to reply to this: f*ck yes.

But remember that throughout all of this, coming from the right place is where it all starts. So if you come from a place of NEEDINESS, she'll see it. But if not, you're good. Realize deeply that you don't need her pussy to have a good orgasm. You don't need her to feel validated. You don't NEED her for anything - you can take it or leave it, no big deal. Same thing goes for ladies: neediness grosses us out.

Don't be needy when communicating sexual desire, just be assertive.

Ok, enough of that. I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat and maybe hit the gym and the mall before a night of glorious adventure starts anew. I encourage you to do the same, lets explore this world together.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

JDanger Blog Intro

Hello there!

How are you? Good i hope. I'm a little hung over from drinking way too much last night but other than that i'm great. Allow myself to tell you a little bit about myself...

One of my favorite topics is romance and relationships, but over the years i've come to realize that the things you learn in this area totally affect all other areas of your life.

And why wouldn't it?

There is a very tangible reward for being successful in the field of romance, you might know that reward by its common name: "orgasm."

There's literally nothing else that makes us feel as good as an orgasm.

We do feel good or bad about other things though. Most of them are about completely made up social norms. Why did i feel so proud for getting a good grade in school? But all of those social norms are in-place to set up "rules" for life, including rules for getting the girl (or guy).

Therefore, learning, bending, and breaking these rules allows you to be in total control of your life and do everything you want to do - including being romantically successful. It's literally just like the matrix: once you realize what's going on, you can completely break free!

So, together we will explore humanity, learn the social rules, and conquer the known universe for the glory of all mankind.

Enjoy the adventures. I know i will...


p.s. Buddha said, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." And it's a quote to live by.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Cheat Codes for Your Game

It's been said before and i'll say it again that 'game' is all about state, state being basically your 'state of mind', or more accurately your internal emotional state. An example of good state is being FUN, not caring about outcomes and bringing the party.

I figured out my cheat codes for the game.

Lately i've been intentionally NOT drinking when i go out so that i can better internalize the new stuff i've been learning into my everyday self, as opposed to just my 'drunken partier' self. Feel me?

But it's hard, because my brothers-in-arms keep forcing alcohol on me. Dammit. Like last night...

What happens, as my sister puts it, is i become a 'fun drunk.' All sets open like butter, everything i say becomes $$, and the world is a much happier place. Everything i do is gold and i might just get 7 phone numbers in a night (i'm still working on breaking that personal record).

Except that i'm not working on it, because it's entirely effortless when you use the cheat codes.

My momentum is unstoppable. I might just give a girl the gaze of glory and capture her in the rapture of love. I might give them the deluxe point supreme, which has the power of granting someone momentary stardom. My heavenly nimbus of holy golden light shines to the most blinding levels of brightness, which is my favor for those who wear stunner shades at night. People buy me MORE drinks. Women grab my tie of destiny trying to understand its irresistable power. Kanye West's 'Good Life' comes on and everyone wants to dance, solely because i'm in the middle of the dance floor singing like T-Pain. A girl who acted stuck up earlier feels stupid because now she can see my nimbus. I smile at her, she smiles back meekly. I understand, and she knows it. I tell her 'it's OK' with my eyes and now she can stop standing in the corner like an idiot and party. Buster Down shows up, takes one look at my nerd glasses with tape in the middle and says, "i love it!". Our powers combine like Captain Planet and the partiers cheer us on. We have a dance off in the middle of the floor. We sandwhich 3 girls at once, we easily slapped 20 asses. One look and they melt, the pussies are moist and we know it. THEY know that we know it, and they love that they can finally stop pretending. FINALLY!! a guy that understands. I'm the chosen one, this is my party, so if you're not having fun you're just plain fucking weird. We're a fountain of value and everyone keeps coming back for more.

Bring your cups and fill them till they spill.

This is what it feels like. Up up down down left right left right A B Start. Cheat codes for your game.

This is good 'state', and when you're in it, you don't have to think about anything. The world is your oyster and nothing anyone says means anything unless you say it does. Everyone checks with YOU to see whether or not the sky is blue. It's not "it is what it is", it's "it is what i say it is." Everyone has potential to join a cult if you get the right cult leader. Everyone has potential to be a ho if you get the right pimp. Perception, cognition, memory, motivation, attitude, blahblahblah. These are all fields of psychology, and it all comes down to one thing:

The world is EXACTLY what you make it.

So be inspired, cuz i am.


Friday, September 28, 2007

Danger's Guide to Women: If you're wondering what the hell's going on with that girl, here's your answer

Hi guys!

I've been going out like a MANIAC these past few weeks. 3-4 nights a week i'm out of the house, meeting new people, hangin out and partying. Good times. There's nothing quite like MASSIVE social interaction to learn about the finer points of how people interact, and in talking to so many people of late, i've started to notice a pattern emerging:

There are only a few types of women.

I've been able to identify 6 types so far, and every time i try and think of someone who might not fit into a category, lo and behold i can squeeze them into one of 'em.

1) Hired Guns
2) Groupies
3) Blossomers
4) Choosy Lovers
5) Nerds
6) Giggleboxes

Hired Guns: these girls are basically tired of being hit on. Many of them are cute and work at clubs. They get tired of guys trying to run game on them and your best bet is to communicate to them that you're very non-needy, genuine, and a giver of value. Make them smile a real smile, cuz they're tired of faking it.

Groupies: These girls are typically validation seekers.

Many of them think highly of themselves (at least on the surface) and constantly have an attitude that says, "and who the heck are you? somebody important?" They're entirely status driven. Best thing here is to be as alpha as possible and also to show the cocky and funny side of your personality.

Usually they end up with losers that drive escalades on rims and live with their mom.

Blossomers: These girls are up-and-coming. They want to explore their sexuality but at the same time they're not yet 100% comfortable with it.

Often this is a symptom of repressing their sexuality in their teens via things like religion, parental pressure, or peer group pressure to not have sex. They sometimes like to drink to quiet the evil demons of anti-slut-defense (ASD) that lurk in their minds. If *YOU* think that girls who have sex are slutty, guess what? They'll pick up on that in a heartbeat and no sex for you! They're looking for a guy who's a very sexual person and has enough comfort with sexuality for the both of them.

I'd say that the average chick you meet is most likely to fall into this category. These are the girls who go apeshit on spring break and often like to 'wait' or have a title before they have sex.

It's important to understand that they're going to test you HARDCORE before they go all the way with you. If you don't truly believe in sexuality in your heart of hearts, they won't let themselves go with you. They might SAY a shitload of things about not having sex with you, only having sex with boyfriends, waiting to have sex, etc etc.

It's bullshit. It's just a test.

You must demonstrate that you understand what her body wants and needs on a fundamental level and speak DIRECTLY to it. An example is Don Juan de Marco (eloquently played by Johnny Depp).

KNOW she wants to fuck you. And never waiver.

ok, next!

Choosey Lovers: These girls, or should i say 'women', are 100% comfortable with their sexuality, but they're also choosy. They're in touch with themselves and their bodies and they have a very mature attitude towards sex. These girls are often the most fun, because attracting them is all about being fun! Best thing to do here is just to banter with her back and forth, say random, funny shit. Do a little teasing. Party on! They like guys that are fun, attractive, and sexual - but they're also willing to turn out the male version of a Blossomer.

These are obviously my favs.

Nerds: Nerds are fun too, but for many guys these are also the most frustrating. These girls are interested in sex but they're literally clueless. Basically they have no idea how to be sexual - many times the result of being a somewhat awkward late-bloomer. They're often pretty, smart, and they can talk a LOT.

Guys get frustrated because they have no idea what to think; it SEEMS like she's 'ON' but there's basically no opportunity for you to get close to her and get sexual.

Hell, you can be sitting there having a freaky conversation about sex and nothing will come of it. Meanwhile the Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) sitting there talking to her has no idea how incredibly wet her love below is.

That's ok, these girls just need a little direction from an alpha-male. Escalate, escalate. In other words, CAVEMAN!

Gigglebox: Ah, the giggle box. Pardon me while i get psychological here, skip it if you want.

Begin psychological breakdown:

Giggleboxes can many times be 'conformers' in that they were thrust into a foreign and potentially hostile environment (like a pretty girl ethnic girl at an all-white school) and that's how they got by - they just giggled at everything. If they were NOT cute they might've been much more of an outcast at school. They had trouble making friends and so they often catered to their friends in order to keep them.

Their alert, logical brain often kind of retreats from reality similar to what happens with post traumatic stress, meaning they're not always all 'there.' This happens so our Gigglebox won't have a nervous breakdown from all the teasing and haterism. They often have trouble being assertive enough to say 'no' and can end up being more promiscuous by default. These girls have a deep, internal issue that needs to be resolved by finding and accepting themselves, their self-identity and their self-confidence. Therapy helps.

End psychological break down.

So, these girls might seem a little 'slow' on their feet, but they're usually actually very book-smart intelligent. Don't start off with super abstract jokes that reference things they'll have to think about.

Simple, silly jokes, and caveman.

They like guys that don't make them feel dumb, are fun/funny, and assertive with their sexuality. Make them genuinely laugh rather than that shit-eating 'lights on, nobody's home' giggle. You'll brighten up their day.

Most girls fall firmly into one of these categories and are NOT a mixture of them, so don't try to mix and match.

THERE! I said it, and that's the truth. Take it or leave it, this is what i've learned from MASSIVE SOCIAL INTERACTION. And now i'm going to go put on my tie of glory because it's time to bring the party to the bored, sexually frustrated public.


Wednesday, September 26, 2007

So... Who are you?


So i started my PhD program, and for those of you wondering what that means is we read a shitload of needlessly over-complex research articles and talk about them in class. The cool part is that i get to read cutting edge psychology articles.

What this means to you is that you get the up-to-date proven psychological theories fresh off the presses.

For instance, i'm expecting an article to be published soon that links culture types to how they form identity -- collectivist cultures like Asian cultures will form their identity via the people around them. Individualist cultures like North Americans are less sensitive to the people around them.

Personally i think that's a load of crap. I think that EVERYONE is constantly figuring out how they should behave by how the people around them react, it's just human nature, and North Americans are better at fooling themselves into thinking it was their own idea.

But most importantly, i think the people who are leaders in this world are less likely to be as worried about what the people around them think about who they are. Leaders don't form their identity by what other people tell them about themselves.

How do you form your identity? Are you yourself, or are you simply the sum of what everyone tells you you are?

I choose to take charge of myself, to define myself, and to be who I want to be. No one has anymore control over you than you give them.

Stuff to think about...



Tuesday, September 25, 2007


This blog will be a collection of all my posts formerly made on MySpace and Facebook.


Of course, i'll still post them there, but in the past people have wondered whether there is stuff on one site and not on the other.

The answer to that is Yes.

So from now on you can rest assured that everything will be posted here - you're one stop shop for all your social-dynamics needs.

This blog is not just a social commentary, but rather a dialogue. What you see here comes from my mind and the minds of people I talk and interact with in my daily life.

Throughout this life I plan on doing everything in my power to achieve a high level of social intelligence. What that translates to is being able to understand people, to communicate with them effectively, and to establish ideal, mutually beneficial relationships. I will forever be a student in this game because if you're not learning, you're not growing, and if you're not growing, you're dying.

So, here's to long life. Cheers!