People have said such things as "I liked the blog, but i'm not sure i like how you put women into categories" To which i said, "i do it to men too."
"Oh."
:) So here it is! Enjoy.
I was thinking about how to go about figuring out the categories that guys fall into. And then it hit me - and it's so simple: wouldn't it just be the same as the girls? And as i kind of 'reversed' the girl categories to make sense for guys, indeed it made perfect sense. I thought about different kinds of guys i've encountered and people i know, and yes, they fall into these categories, here they are:
1) Celebrities
2) "Stunners"
3) Shy Guys
4) Choosey Lovers
5) Nerds
6) Comedians
These are very similar to the girl categories of:
1) Hired Guns
2) Groupies
3) Blossomers
4) Choosey Lovers
5) Nerds
6) Giggle boxes
Celebrities:
Much like the Hired Guns, Celebrities are tired of being "hit on". Celebrities are guys who have some degree of fame/fortune and are tired of groupies and gold diggers trying to get at them. They may live a lavish life, but that is simply the life they prefer rather than living that life for the purpose of showing off, like the Stunner.
If you're a Celebrity and you want to meet women who aren't groupies, be mysterious about what you do and your income level. Put yourself in situations where people might not know who you are. Tell your friends to stop bragging about what you do. Let your SELF shine thru, see how that goes. You might just discover some interesting things about your self-esteem and confidence you never knew.
For ladies who want to meet celebrities: don't be impressed by what they do. Treat them as human beings, get to know them. Have fun and relax.
Stunners:
The Stunners are the show offs. Many Stunners don't even necessarily have much to show off, but whatever it is they have, you'll know. They like to brag and try to impress people one way or another. These are the types of guys that Groupies often go for, because groupies LOOOVE that status. Both Stunners and Groupies are externally validated, status-oriented people.
If you're a girl and you want a Stunner all you really have to do is dress sexy, stand within 10 feet of them and pray they have the guts to say something to you. If they don't, smile at them and make eye contact, that should do the trick.
If you're a Stunner and you want girls, my advice would be to go to parties you know will have lots of groupies: album release parties, celebrity afterparties, etc. If you want even better advice stop being a Stunner and realize you're a cool cat without all the bling. The guys who get ALL the girls don't show off, they're just assertively being THEMSELVES.
Shy Guys:
Shy guys are totally the male version of the female Blossomers. They'd love to explore their sexuality but they're reluctant to be assertive in many situations. Hell, many times they just simply don't know HOW or where to start! Most 'nice guys' are shy guys. Give them a chance and they know how to 'treat a lady'. Of course, contrary to what ladies SAY the guys they actually go for are NOT the ones who approach girls the way momma taught 'em.
Thus, many shy guys end up choosing from the girls who come their way OR girls in their immediate social circle. So if you're a girl and you're interested in a Shy Guy you're gonna have to show interest in him. And i know you think you ARE, but you must understand that the Shy Guy has NO CLUE unless you're blatently obvious about it. Don't be too FORWARD cuz he'll panic, but be INTERESTED.
If you're a Shy Guy and you want your pick of the litter, you're gonna have to stop caring about rejection, get out there and GO TALK TO GIRLS. You have so much potential you don't even know it, and YOU are the only thing stopping you.
Choosey Lovers:
Ah yes, choosey lovers. In order for a guy to be a choosey lover he has to actually be to the point where he has multiple QUALITY women to choose from as lovers. Please note the word "QUALITY" in front of the word "women". A guy being a Choosey Lover doesn't mean he's a player, it just means he's well-rounded. Anyway, there are 2 ways to get there.
1) The guy can be a Natural, which means that for a combination of reasons (or at least in certain situations i.e. girls in their social circle but NOT strangers at nightclubs) talking to quality women is well within his comfort zone.
2) They can LEARN it, meaning they used to be a different category but now they've reached a new comfort level with women.
If a woman wants to get with a choosey lover, she'll have to be of high quality. Let me go ahead and outline what high quality means: CONFIDENT.
There's nothing sexier than confidence, to men AND to women. I'm not gonna deny that you also need to take care of yourself and dress well, but these are things that truly confident people do anyway. The difference between having confidence and having a big ego is that confidence takes the COURAGE to say "i'm not perfect, but i'm working on it." Big-ego says "fuck that, i'm damn near perfect!"
Being confident doesn't mean being aggressive and tactless. Being confident doesn't mean being a standoffish bitch. Being confident doesn't mean constantly measuring yourself against the people around you. In fact, psychological research has shown that people with higher self-confidence engage in less social-comparison (measuring themselves).
Being high quality means relaxing and being social. Having fun. Not being desperate, needy, or taking value, but instead being assertive and GIVING value. So go around demonstrating personality, being social and having fun - you'll pique the interest of the Choosey Lover.
If you're a guy and you're a Choosey Lover and you want to get girls, it's important to remember that EVERYONE has value, even if they come off as a bitch at first. Dig thru their bullshit and give them a chance to let their true self shine thru. Being Choosey doesn't mean being so uppity, cocky, or arrogant that you're too 'picky' to talk to people. Instead, talk to EVERYONE. Every girl doesn't need to be a 10 in looks. However, don't lower your standards for anyone. I also see a lot of guys who are reasonably successful Choosey Lovers (Naturals in this case), but their ego's get in the way of them being EVEN BETTER at interacting with women.
Of COURSE you're successful with women. But did it ever occur to you that maybe you could be even MORE successful? Maybe that girl who just played you would've been friendlier if you had done something different? You often get in your own way when you're meeting women. The best advice i can give is to destroy your limiting beliefs, get out of your comfort zone and LEARN what's going on in these interactions.
Nerds:
Nerd guys are just like nerd girls. Nerd guys have a lot of similarities to shy guys - they're generally a shy bunch. However, the thing with nerd guys is there's almost always SOMETHING about which they get very excited. Hell, they're probably actually really GOOD at it too. Granted, this mysterious 'something' might be World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons, but still! Many of them are smart guys, they're just a little clueless when it comes to chicks. What's cool about this is that they learn well, so if a Nerd ever has a freaky girlfriend, he's going to be fucking AMAZING in bed. Ladies, tell a nerd what you want and he'll fulfill your desires, be they emotional, mental or physical. All of this makes them great boyfriends.
What's funny is that many JOCKS and MUSICIANS are actually NERDS. When this is the case, all they know is the sport/music they're playing and they're clueless about chicks. Luckily it's cool to bang jocks and musicians so they matchup quite well with Groupies;) In fact, it's a match made in heaven!
Let me reiterate that i'm NOT knocking the Groupie/Nerd matchup. Basically the Groupie thinks it's fucking awesome that the Nerd does whatever it is they're good at, and the Nerd gets to express his personality without worrying about the initial attraction phase. It works out for both parties.
So for ladies that want to get with Nerds, find out what they do. If it's interesting to you, let them know you're interested in the same thing. Give them a chance to talk about whatever it is they love to do and you'll see just how awesome these guys are. You have to be assertive with these types in case you didn't pick up on that...
For the Nerd guys, if you want to get the ladies, find EVERY opportunity you can to relate whatever you're THING is to something about her. At the same time, diversify yourself. You don't want to be one of those guys where the girl says, "all he ever talks about is X." Granted there are those girls that LOOOVE "X". However, if you want to expand your horizons you'll have to learn about other things. Make sure you're not just talking about you and your thing, but RELATING it to HER. It lets her know you understand where she's coming from. By the way you'll also want to learn how to approach women... ;)
Comedians:
Ah yes, we all know some Comedians; Comedians are the guys who tell the jokes! They're usually funny as fuck, and often very fun to be around. It DOES happen that their personalities can be overbearing: sometimes they don't know when to stop or tone it down. You can spot a Comedian because he jokes at almost EVERYTHING. The thing about Comedians is that they basically NEVER pull the trigger. It's very easy for them to end up just being the fun-entertainer guy who all the girls know but none of them are having sex with.
For ladies that want to get with a Comedian, YOU are going to have to be the assertive one who escalates the situation. Comedy is good for attraction, so a Comedian will very often get STUCK in attraction and not escalate to connection or seduction. Actions speak louder than words with these guys. And have a sense of humor. Many times they don't run into people who can make THEM laugh.
For Comedians who want to get the girlz, PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER. You need to TOUCH these girls, especially if they've already touched you! You should have no problem approaching girls - just say something random/funny that pops into your head, and keep it going. You being the comedian you are, they'll probably be laughing within a few minutes. If not she's being a dickhead so turn your back and go approach another girl.
You'll also want to ESCALATE. Get more personal, be more sexual. Ask them a question about themselves, relate it to yourself AND to something funny and/or sexual. Then, tell her something cool you noticed about her and tell her "lets chat sometime, i can see us having some laughs. What's your phone#?" and pull the trigger.
So there you have it. I might come back in and edit this so it looks prettier. Until then, keep it trill homies.
cheers!
JDanger
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