Friday, January 25, 2008

Life is OVER

Why is your room dirty right now?

It seems like as soon as you clean it, it gets dirty right away. We always find this upsetting.

Our gas tank is empty. We just filled it up the other day. Damn... We're always refilling it.

There's only a little bit of those leftovers still in the fridge. They're so TASTY. Lets save it for later.


Cars are made to be driven.
Gas is made to be burned.
Rooms are made to be dirtied.
Food is made to be eaten.

Everything is ALWAYS getting worse, yet we puny humans strive to hold onto it just a LITTLE BIT LONGER.

We're too busy trying to save ourselves to live life. Too busy trying to preserve something that's made to be enjoyed to the fullest. You don't get to live this life again. You don't get to 'save a little bit for later'. Everything could be gone in the BLINK OF AN EYE.

Don't you understand this? You don't, i know. It's hard. It's so very hard... but TRY.


And it's not that you can die. Sure, mortality is all around you. You can die at any time, we all know this. But it's more than that. How about this - try this one on for size:

You can have EVERYTHING in your life taken away from you in a heartbeat... but you're still alive. Imagine THAT.

Imagine everything you're familiar with is just GONE. Your job, your house, your car, everything. Imagine yourself moving to another city with like 5 grand and no friends. Your life as you know it, just GONE. But you're still alive. Living.

It's kinda like fight club. You're not your job, you're not your aprartment, you're not your car. You are not your ikea furniture. You are not your fucking khakis.

Everything - GONE. What would you have left? What would you do differently? How would you live if you started your life again with 5 grand and no friends in a new city?

It's time to start living. Be ready to risk everything at the drop of a hat. Tell your boss what you've been wanting to tell them. Tell THEIR boss. Tell your friends, your lovers, your family. Tell everyone exactly what's on your mind. Reputation is MEANINGLESS.

Don't go out of your way to THROW it away. Just never hesitate to RISK it. Put it all on the line, all the time. Balls to the wall, completely out of your mind.

I feel like I just died and I'm living again for the first time. Weird I know. It feels kinda like when you're asleep having a dream and you REALIZE you're having a dream and the fact that you realize it allows you to CONTROL it and now the dream takes a whole new turn. It's like THAT.

It was like before everything had a "handle with care" label on it. Now, I'm ready to throw that shit on the ground just to see what it looks like when it breaks. But not so much self-amusing destruction. More like, USAGE. More like, taking full advantage of what life's offering me. More like, full enjoyment.

I got this brand new shirt and I'm waiting for a special occasion to wear it...


Shirts are made to be worn.
Cars are made to be driven.
Gas is made to be burned.
Rooms are made to be dirtied.
Food is made to be eaten.

Life is made to be LIVED. I'm not saving anything for later.

I'm excited. See you soon.


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

ATTRACTION... Finally Nailed It


I've been trying to write about attraction for a while and I've been having a hard time.

There are a MILLION things that go into what makes up attraction. a MILLION.

Speaking of a million, let me tell you a funny story.

I'm in the club, and somehow I manage to be HAMMERED drunk. Like seriously, I forgot half the night. I HATE when I get like that. Sure, sometimes I drink and I like to party but I ALWAYS want to remember what happened. Apparently I left my panties at home that night and wore some dungarees because I was balls-to-the-wall SAVAGE. Here's what I've pieced together, and I remember about 2/3rds of this.

I see a girl talking to some dude. Apparently they are together, as in boyfriend/girlfriend. Yeah.

I walk up, I gently yet firmly turn the girl around to face me, I have a half-smile on my face and I extend my arm to encompass her into my bubble and bring her under my wing. I walk away a few steps with her, smiling the whole way, holding strong eye contact. She sees my nimbus and she can't look away. She literally CAN NOT look away. She's in my world now, nothing else exists.

We start to talk, we're vibing. She smiles, we laugh, it's ON. It's ALWAYS on.

Suddenly, some dude is there on her other side trying to pull her away. I still have a smile on my face as I give him a look like he's retarded and pull her back towards me. Without warning that dude magically splits into a total of 4 dudes + one short midget-like guy who seems to be their leader. I let go of the girl and look at him with a self-amused smile. The midget-leader goes:

"BET you won't do that again."
I think to myself: Betting! I love to gamble. My smile grows from a half smile to a 3/4 smile.
"Bet a million!" I say
"Huh? Bet..."
"Bet a MILLION!"
"BET you won't do that again."
"I'll do it again for a MILLION!"
I have my hand partially held out to shake for a bet, but below my waist, confident and nonthreatening, and non-THREATENED. I'm holding eye contact, ready to play. He had to think I was crazy. He backs up a couple steps towards his friends while keeping his eyes on me

I understand they're looking for a fight.

I look at them, my chest is fully exposed, absolutely fearless, my smiles turns feral and predatory as I size them up. I just went to the gym that day and my back was sore from so many pullups. My testosterone is pumping, my senses are heightened. I feel ready, I feel prepared. I feel like I can take all of them. Each one looks visibly unsure of themselves as I look at each of them in turn. They understand. I'm Alpha.

Just then my friend turns around, ready to fight. The HUGE security guard who I'm super-cool with shows up. They've got my back. My smile grows. I tell them it's cool. I tell everyone it's cool. They back off. Situation diffused. I see the midget-leader later that night and I give him my half smile and shrug as if to say "hey, life's crazy".

Later I ask my friends: what happened? Why the hell were they beefin?

They tell me. Dude, don't you remember? You took his girl right in front of him.

Then i think to myself... wow. That dude was LITERALLY not in my reality at ALL. Like, all I remember is standing there talking to a girl I just pulled over to me and some random guy comes up and starts beefin with me. What the fuck?

I think that's what it is. I think that's what Attraction is.

Attraction is living in your own reality - a GREAT reality - and a reality that others can't help but be drawn into. It's like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, you just don't want to leave.

Cultivate that reality within yourself. Reality is perception. Interpret the world as you see fit and truly believe. 100% Belief in yourself. Not 92% belief. 100% belief. Live in a world of self-amusement where bad-reactions simply do not exist.

Ever wonder why you have so much fun when you're drunk? It's because that social filter that blocks out all of your impulses is removed. Granted you have to come from the right place internally, but most of you reading this are pretty well-centered people. Don't worry so much about that.

Worry about being yourself unapologetically. Expressing yourself. Putting your personality on the line and laughing off whatever happens as a result. LAUGH IT OFF. It's no big deal.

That's it. That's it right there.

THAT is attraction; living in your own reality and enjoying everything that adds to it by reacting to it. YOU are the rock making a splash in the pond. YOU make the ripples. If someone else throws a rock, you throw a bigger rock. Your belief is stronger. 100%.

This is YOUR world.

THAT is attraction.

cheers my dear friends. cheers!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Being the Alpha Male

What does it mean to be the Alpha Male?

For me, this means answering the phone when people call. This means listening to people, connecting with them, being empathetic, understanding, giving feedback and input. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “why the hell are they telling me this?” And then I remember, “Oh yeah, I’m the Alpha”

Being the Alpha means deciding what *I* want to do and doing it. This means considering all options and making a fucking decision. It also means changing my mind when necessary. This means trusting myself to handle situations. This means having FAITH in myself, not BECAUSE other people do, but in light of the fact that people do.

To me, being the Alpha Male means having the balls to address other alphas; stepping out of my comfort zone and offering the olive branch or the sword. In the end I don’t give a FUCK if you’re bigger than me I will fight to the fucking hilt to protect me and mine. Leader of men. Protector of loved ones. Dominating. Sticking out my chest, shoulders back, head high, chin down – don’t be arrogant, look people in the face, strong eye contact, big smile. Life’s a party.

It’s also important to realize that different people lead in different situations. Leadership doesn’t necessarily mean Alpha. As the Alpha Male, it’s important to recognize when it’s time for others to lead. In fact, it’s necessary – you can’t lead ALL the time, unless you want to die young. It’s too demanding and draining. Delegating is a part of being the Alpha, and that goes hand in hand with recognizing others’ value and letting them shine in their areas of expertise.

It’s also important to realize that you’re dominant, but you don’t TRY.

Trying to dominate everyone is beta, not alpha. Dominating is simply who you are, you’re unafraid and confident. Being the Alpha Male means understanding that there are OTHER Alpha Males. I say "The" Alpha, but there are tons of Alpha Males in the world, and I'm friends with some of them. Alpha Males can come together in alliance and do great things. Be assertive, feel people out, but don’t try to dominate others simply for the sake of dominating. Don’t be an asshole.

Being the Alpha Male means putting myself out there. Putting my personality on the line time and time again. And BELIEVING. It takes 100% belief to do the impossible. “If anyone can do it, it’s me.”

When you’re the Alpha Male, people will seek your approval. People will give you things, make offerings to you. Don’t turn these down. In this book I read, this young courageous Prince felt… bashful, embarrassed I supposed, to be receiving gifts from the people of his realm. His advisor, who was the advisor to his father, told him, “you’re their Prince! Let them treat you as such. They want to give you these things, to turn it down would be the greatest insult to their honor.” An honest thank you will do.

Do NOT let this go to your head.

Remain humble, but understand your ROLE. KNOW YOUR FUCKING ROLE. You are the Alpha, but you are still a cog in the wheel. Nothing works without your people – a chief is nothing without his Indians. Do not feel that you are valuable and others are not simply because you’re the Alpha.

Being the Alpha Male means understanding that everyone has value. It means recognizing that value and facilitating it. It means allowing everyone to SHINE.

Sometimes it means taking people out of their comfort zone. This is what you do, you’re the Alpha Male. They trust that you’ll get them thru it, that it’s in their best interest.

That’s what it’s about in the end – Trust. Being the Alpha Male means being responsible, but at the same time throwing caution and responsibility to the wind. It’s a fun little paradox. You GOT here by being the type of guy that doesn’t give a fuck and lives his own life, and now others trust you to lead them. It’s easy to start giving a fuck.


The key is to simply BE. Be you, all the time. The self is always shining through, so don’t try and block the sun. Don’t TRY to be the leader, because that’s exactly how you fail at it. Don’t always tell people what to do, instead tell them your experience, tell them what you’ve learned, tell them about YOU. Speak in the “I” perspective, not the “You” perspective. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Instead, just live. You’re a guy with standards and rules, and you don’t violate them for anyone. You speak up, you put it out there.

You are not to be walked on.

You don’t tolerate insolence. You don’t tolerate poor behavior. But nor are you the police. Your attention, your presence, YOU are the gift. To quote a wise man named Chariot, YOU are the hero in this story, YOU are the shiny golden treasure. You punish people by taking away that treasure. I saw it on a movie somewhere, but they said that there’s nothing worse in this world than being ignored, and truer words have never been spoken.

You are dominant, this is your reality. You invite others to live in it. Yet it’s of the utmost importance to LISTEN. It’s easy to keep dominating and keep dominating, but many times it’s important to just sit back and LISTEN. People are trying to tell you things and you need to hear them. Don’t judge it, don’t try and be RIGHT and them being WRONG. That’s your ego creeping in, let it go. Let them talk, give it a listen.

Many times I catch myself thinking, “this person has no clue, this person is trapped, this person has nothing but limiting beliefs,” etc. All that may be true, but it’s important to CUT THAT SHIT OUT and just LISTEN.

Sure, take it with a grain of salt, but I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gained some really deep insights by finding an underlying message that might be hidden within whatever self-limiting bullshit someone is spouting to me. Yeah, this person might be stifling themselves with limiting beliefs, but they hold these beliefs for a REASON. Find out what that reason is, find out what the underlying ‘rule’ is that’s guiding this behavior, you’ll learn something new.

Remember, everyone has value. Find it, appreciate it, and give them some of your value.

The world is yours for the taking. YOU are the bottom line. The sky isn’t blue unless you say it is. This is FAITH. This is 100% BELIEF. Never be timid. Say things with conviction. Believe in yourself. Believe in others. I’ve got a laundry list of things I’ve done that I thought were impossible. Spend enough time around me and you know that if you use the word “can’t” you get a slap on the wrist. That’s one of my rules – don’t tell me anyone ‘can’t’ do anything. Impossible is nothing. FAITH. 100% BELIEF.

That's what Yoda taught Luke, that's what Morpheus taught Neo. That's what every hero has to learn.

That’s what it means to be the Alpha Male. You live in your world. You recognize the value in others, you let them SHINE. You’re a guy with standards and rules. You put yourself out there, and you do it with 100% belief. You know your role, you accept it, and you play it to perfection. You are the Alpha Male. You are the bottom line.

This is YOUR world. Enjoy it;)